Californiacation

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Californiacation

Post  Plonk on Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:51 am

Let's discuss why this is the worst show ever. I'll start.

-deadpan daughter

-makes sex seem gross and unappealing (something I didn't think was possible)

-Cokey Smurf

-oh yeah, the WRITING
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:04 am

I don't have HBO, but I do know that David Duchovny (formerly cool, loves pets) is an actual sex addict (he lost Tea Leoni? No excuse) playing a sex addict with the bald guy from Sex and The City. and the whole thing sounds like the nastiest patriarchal guilt nonsense. Again, not having seen it, seems like John from Cincinnatti was better.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:06 am

Oh I get it: It's like living in CA is just one big vacation (because of the sunny weather and unprotected sex and bad writing) so you can put the two words (California + Vacation) and you get one dumb word for a show.

That's way better than what I thought before, which is that it was named after an Anthony Keidis song.

Truly one of the worst shows I've ever watched every episode of, it also boasts:

-Totally lame and urealistic hedonist "rock" producer whose death warrants all kinds of tears and reflection after the main character has known him for like two months AND he was a statutory rapist and never did or said anything remotely interesting and I can't imagine this biography that Mulder was working on was very good.

-Setting aside the idiotic male fantasy elements of the Mulder's serial sexual encounters (lumpy dude with mondo schnozz hungover in a grocery store apparently equals instant blowjob urge for all ladies everywhere), you get the even MORE insulting, MORE preposterous male fantasy nonsense of the fat disgusting bald manager getting to have lots of nubile, inappropriate sex.

-They can't have it both ways. Either Mulder is a jerk and sex addict or he's not. What they try to do is set it up so that it APPEARS like he's a jerk and a sex addict to those around him (through unfortunate coincidences and bad timing) but in actuality he's a caring father who wants nothing more than to return to his stable family life and wouldn't ever ever ever engage in countless sleazy encounters if only Solaris lady would just take him back. It would've been a much better show if they had let him be flawed rather than misunderstood. As it stands, you feel dirty because they're trying to get you to sympathize with this pig.

-Multiple Bukowski references = FUCK THIS SHOW I'M NOT IN 10th GRADE

Did I mention I've seen every episode?
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:25 am

Mostly now I'm angry that you both put that stupid song in my head. Baaarf!
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 12:05 pm

choogle wrote:Mostly now I'm angry that you both put that stupid song in my head. Baaarf!

Happily, that song never appeared in the show. The theme on the other hand is really annoying and the pictures you have to watch while it plays are the worst (because now Mulder, who used to be cool, is the worst person on Earth and they're all shots of him being the worst), so musically I give the show an F grade. I believe "You Can't Always Get What You Want" made an appearance as well because that's what you play on your TV show when one of the characters can't get what he or she wants.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 12:23 pm

In this case I imagine what they wanted involved having sex with something or someone shameful. I'd rather look at Dennis Franz's butt all day than this show.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:21 pm

It's also worth noting that, much like the other sleazy male fantasy program on HBO, the girls are always icky. Sure, the main lady (Solaris) is pretty enough but she has a weird accent that made me think she was from a South Pacific island (she's from England and she's trying to sound American I think) and there was a time when Shelly from Twin Peaks was on and she's held up ok but all the other ladies look like hookers.

See? The show is turning me into a chauvenist!
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:29 pm

I think you're forgetting that Solaris was also in RONIN.

Other sleazy male fantasy program on HBO = Dream On? I recall those ladies being super hot. Then again I was 12 I think.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:33 pm

choogle wrote:I think you're forgetting that Solaris was also in RONIN.

Other sleazy male fantasy program on HBO = Dream On? I recall those ladies being super hot. Then again I was 12 I think.

Of course I'm talking about Entourage but the big difference between Entourage and Californiavacafornation is that in Entourage there's this movie star and you can understand why he and his friends would have lots of success with skinny girls with low self-esteem because it's a well-known fact that movie stars and their hangers-on lead these types of lives.

But Mulder? He's just a novelist and he's old and most of the sad ladies he disgustingly beds don't even know about the fact that he's had some success as a novelist. So in addition to being gross, this show is UNREALISTIC.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:41 pm

Bill Bruford: Drums wrote:
choogle wrote:I think you're forgetting that Solaris was also in RONIN.

Other sleazy male fantasy program on HBO = Dream On? I recall those ladies being super hot. Then again I was 12 I think.

Of course I'm talking about Entourage but the big difference between Entourage and Californiavacafornation is that in Entourage there's this movie star and you can understand why he and his friends would have lots of success with skinny girls with low self-esteem because it's a well-known fact that movie stars and their hangers-on lead these types of lives.

But Mulder? He's just a novelist and he's old and most of the sad ladies he disgustingly beds don't even know about the fact that he's had some success as a novelist. So in addition to being gross, this show is UNREALISTIC.

This does seem like a fatal flaw, because this fantasy where bad-looking people are allowed to have all kinds of zany sex, while entertaining, is pretty much a lie. I guess the show about the failed novelist who is alone all the time and his marriage isn't working out and he is addicted to sex but that just means porn is a little too bleak for a series. Not much dialogue either.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:46 pm

choogle wrote:[quote:d4c9="Bill Bruford: Drums"]
choogle wrote:I think you're forgetting that Solaris was also in RONIN.

Other sleazy male fantasy program on HBO = Dream On? I recall those ladies being super hot. Then again I was 12 I think.

Of course I'm talking about Entourage but the big difference between Entourage and Californiavacafornation is that in Entourage there's this movie star and you can understand why he and his friends would have lots of success with skinny girls with low self-esteem because it's a well-known fact that movie stars and their hangers-on lead these types of lives.

But Mulder? He's just a novelist and he's old and most of the sad ladies he disgustingly beds don't even know about the fact that he's had some success as a novelist. So in addition to being gross, this show is UNREALISTIC.

This does seem like a fatal flaw, because this fantasy where bad-looking people are allowed to have all kinds of zany sex, while entertaining, is pretty much a lie. I guess the show about the failed novelist who is alone all the time and his marriage isn't working out and he is addicted to sex but that just means porn is a little too bleak for a series. Not much dialogue either.[/quote]

Dream On was unrealistic, mainly because Martin Tupper was so shot, but at least it was light-hearted and silly and you know what else? They made a point to show that Martin always used protection! Mulder? No, he hates condoms. So what we're seeing is this sex addict going around having unprotected sex with multitudes of clearly frivolous and promiscuous people and yet so far nobody's come down with a horrible disease!
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Plonk on Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:13 pm

choogle wrote:[quote:d4c9="Bill Bruford: Drums"]
choogle wrote:I think you're forgetting that Solaris was also in RONIN.

Other sleazy male fantasy program on HBO = Dream On? I recall those ladies being super hot. Then again I was 12 I think.

Of course I'm talking about Entourage but the big difference between Entourage and Californiavacafornation is that in Entourage there's this movie star and you can understand why he and his friends would have lots of success with skinny girls with low self-esteem because it's a well-known fact that movie stars and their hangers-on lead these types of lives.

But Mulder? He's just a novelist and he's old and most of the sad ladies he disgustingly beds don't even know about the fact that he's had some success as a novelist. So in addition to being gross, this show is UNREALISTIC.

This does seem like a fatal flaw, because this fantasy where bad-looking people are allowed to have all kinds of zany sex, while entertaining, is pretty much a lie. I guess the show about the failed novelist who is alone all the time and his marriage isn't working out and he is addicted to sex but that just means porn is a little too bleak for a series. Not much dialogue either.[/quote]

well, see the thing is that Mulder and Solaris were never married, which is the main reason why their relationship failed. Because we all know that the only thing girls want is marriage and the only thing dudes don't want is marriage.
I think the main reason why all these girls are gross is because they don't have anything really going on in their lives. Yeah, they've done all those things girls are supposed to do to make themselves attractive, but that's all they've spent their time out. And that's not really attractive in boys or girls. Also, since they can't really show real sex, it's not like that part is interesting. Just a lot of sweaty grunting and humping and maybe a boob here or there, and let's get real. boobs are everywhere. i demand boobs inserted in good writing!
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:24 pm

no arguments here. an increase in both would be just fine.

My main question: is california maybe just filled with people who have no standards and are "easy-going" so they'll have sex with everything?
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:29 pm

choogle wrote:no arguments here. an increase in both would be just fine.

My main question: is california maybe just filled with people who have no standards and are "easy-going" so they'll have sex with everything?

I'm pretty sure that is not the case. What's more likely is there are emotionally-stunted, drug-addicted, woman-hating writers who somehow sell their shitty ideas to a cable station that loves to show boobs and get their show on the air and use it as a platform for their depraved visions of what their lives would be like if their flaws were celebrated rather than derided, if they wouldn't black out all the time, and if they were actually once-celebrated-now-blocked novelists rather than never-celebrated hacky TV writers.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Plonk on Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:46 pm

choogle wrote:no arguments here. an increase in both would be just fine.

My main question: is california maybe just filled with people who have no standards and are "easy-going" so they'll have sex with everything?

maybe, but it's not 1968 in either of those shows. which is something I'd like to see. i would like to watch a show about california in 1966 (or whatever)-? There would be lots of boobs and great music and sunshine.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:54 pm

Plonk wrote:
choogle wrote:no arguments here. an increase in both would be just fine.

My main question: is california maybe just filled with people who have no standards and are "easy-going" so they'll have sex with everything?

maybe, but it's not 1968 in either of those shows. which is something I'd like to see. i would like to watch a show about california in 1966 (or whatever)-? There would be lots of boobs and great music and sunshine.


GREAT IDEA!

Title: The Whisky
Subject: The Whisky A Go Go from 1964-1970
Starring: us in bit parts where we get to play famous people nobody ever heard of (like ByrdsRoadie) and hang out with famous people of now pretending to be famous people of yore.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Plonk on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:00 pm

I didn't even think about getting to star in minor roles. I will play anyone except Grace Slick.
You and Bill write the script: NOW!


Part 2:
we all move to california and have lots of random and unbelievable sex.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:13 pm

Plonk wrote:I didn't even think about getting to star in minor roles. I will play anyone except Grace Slick.
You and Bill write the script: NOW!


Part 2:
we all move to california and have lots of random and unbelievable sex.

I have mixed feelings about this last part, but I do like the idea of having a TV show. And in theory, we'd be at war with Grace Slick because she'd be part of the crusty San Francisco scene that thinks us LA people are all slick commercial jerks.

My theory is that it should start around 1966 around the time of the riots on Sunset Strip and go up through Moneterey, Watts riots, Manson and then wrap up around Altamont.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Plonk on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:19 pm

whatta bout this for scene one:

[boy walks into an office that is in some bar in the 60's (who cares about the details)]

BOY: "Hey, I'd like to play a gig here. I'd be pretty great."

MAN IN SUIT: "HUH? I never heard of you. We only play the big bands 'round here. Come back when you're somebody!" [kicks BOY on the shins.]

BOY LEAVES

WAITRESS: "Hey Kid, what's your name?"

BOY: "BOB DYLAN."

CUE AWESOME MUSIC.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:22 pm

So frilly doors through bearded doors?

I'm confused about what part of "unbelievable sex" is not to your taste.

Another idea: Weekly sitcom set at the Riot Hyatt starting also in 1966. They could even be related shows, with CROSSOVER, but this one HAS to be a comedy.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:23 pm

Plonk wrote:whatta bout this for scene one:

[boy walks into an office that is in some bar in the 60's (who cares about the details)]

BOY: "Hey, I'd like to play a gig here. I'd be pretty great."

MAN IN SUIT: "HUH? I never heard of you. We only play the big bands 'round here. Come back when you're somebody!" [kicks BOY on the shins.]

BOY LEAVES

WAITRESS: "Hey Kid, what's your name?"

BOY: "BOB DYLAN."

CUE AWESOME MUSIC.

That scene would be especially incredible if we had the series take place in 1966 when Bob Dylan was like the most famous guy on Earth. In fact, maybe that should be the approach -- to make this the LEAST accurate period TV series of all time. People will be like "We thought it was cool how Mad Men did all that research to make sure that the Arrow shirts had just the right collars but that was before we saw the tunics and cell phones on The Whisky Season 1."
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Re: Californiacation

Post  choogle on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:24 pm

Plonk wrote:whatta bout this for scene one:

[boy walks into an office that is in some bar in the 60's (who cares about the details)]

BOY: "Hey, I'd like to play a gig here. I'd be pretty great."

MAN IN SUIT: "HUH? I never heard of you. We only play the big bands 'round here. Come back when you're somebody!" [kicks BOY on the shins.]

BOY LEAVES

WAITRESS: "Hey Kid, what's your name?"

BOY: "BOB DYLAN."

CUE AWESOME MUSIC.

cosign this as start of EVERY EPISODE, subbing in whoever the performer is that week. Ex:


WAITRESS: "Hey Kid, what's your name?"

BOY: "MARK FARNER."
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:26 pm

choogle wrote:So frilly doors through bearded doors?

I'm confused about what part of "unbelievable sex" is not to your taste.

Another idea: Weekly sitcom set at the Riot Hyatt starting also in 1966. They could even be related shows, with CROSSOVER, but this one HAS to be a comedy.

Well, that should be Plonk's baby given her encyclopedic knowledge of GTOs and related ladies of the strip/canyon. We could undo a lot of misinformation damage done by the likes of Almost Baaarf and the Banger Sisters.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Plonk on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:30 pm

Bill Bruford: Drums wrote:
choogle wrote:So frilly doors through bearded doors?

I'm confused about what part of "unbelievable sex" is not to your taste.

Another idea: Weekly sitcom set at the Riot Hyatt starting also in 1966. They could even be related shows, with CROSSOVER, but this one HAS to be a comedy.

Well, that should be Plonk's baby given her encyclopedic knowledge of GTOs and related ladies of the strip/canyon. We could undo a lot of misinformation damage done by the likes of Almost Baaarf and the Banger Sisters.
alright, I'll do it.
and i get to play Miss Pamela too.
It will be great when Frank Zappa, Alice Cooper and others get rejected from stupid bars and then get super famous and go back and laugh at those silly bar owners!!!!!!

Then we will start another crossover show that stars us writing a bunch of shows set in the 60's and how we move to california and all live in a giant house together and also Harry Nillsson's ghost lives in the closet.
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Re: Californiacation

Post  Bill Bruford: Drums on Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:34 pm

I just need to point out: The Doors were never frilly.

But yeah, the Harryghost sitcom has been a long time comin'.
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